sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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