don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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