Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
