OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
