Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
