She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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