bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
