Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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