oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
