So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
