It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
