I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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