..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize