the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
