youre lurking in front of me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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