i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
