singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize