According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
