There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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