You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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