We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
