Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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