The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
