let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
