I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
