Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
