As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
MIDGETS
????
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
