Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
