A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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