She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
