Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
this boner is exhausting
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
