I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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