So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
