if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
