She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
