Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
