dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
