So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
