So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
