There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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