I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
