Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
