how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
