they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
