oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize