My sheets look like a crime scene.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
This is my gift to your gina
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
