he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize