There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
how drunk are you?
Several
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
