i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize