White coat. Heels.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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