Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
