friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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