If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize