I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
