I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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