But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
