help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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