Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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