The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
