my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
