i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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