do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
