If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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